We got home today from a wonderful week at the beach. A week that we all needed. Before we even went though, I worried about something. 4 weeks ago the doctor stopped the shots I am on for rheumatoid arthritis because of the abnormal chest xray. The effects of the shots stay in my body for about 3 weeks and then the pain in my joints comes back with a vengeance, making even washing my hair and getting up from a chair almost unbearable. I have tried at times to delay the shots because I hate being on medication but I always would end up taking a shot after about 3 weeks because the pain would be so bad. This has been the pattern my body has followed for about the last 3 years.
Well I knew that our beach week was right at the time the shots effects would be worn off and I worried that my week at the beach would be miserable. I even thought about not going, I just knew it would be bad and with no relief because of not being able to take the shot. I didn't really know what to do about it.
Prayer used to be a confusing thing for me. I have prayed all my life. For years my prayers were begging God for a particular thing and for years He didn't seem to be answering me. My best friend died of cancer at age 42, my hero of a daddy got Alzheimer's disease, my daughter suffered from clinical depression, my son struggled with his identity, I was diagnosed with RA, and on and on. So I got to a point where I wondered if prayers really worked. Maybe it was just me He wasn't listening to.
Maybe it was because I didn't have the Holy Ghost. Maybe I just didn't know how to pray. They just didn't seem to be getting through. I kept praying though. I just got to a point where I didn't think it was doing any good. I started putting all things spiritual in a box. Things I didn't understand. God. The Holy Ghost. Religion. Salvation. Sin. Prayer. They all went into the box. I searched with all my might to find answers and truth. For most of my life I have searched. I have never been one to settle on things just for the sake of settling. I have to know the truth once and for all and I was beginning to think I might never find it.
Back to the beach. I decided to pray. I told God that I needed to be able to move and function while I was at the beach with my family. I told Him that I didn't want to not be able to play with and hold my grandchildren. I told Him that I needed my knees to be able to climb stairs and that I needed my hands to cook and wash my own hair. I told Him that I really needed for Him to come through for me this time. I asked Him with all sincerity...."please come through for me this time." Somehow my prayer felt different than before. Way down deep inside of me, I believed that He was listening.
We are home from the beach now. It has been 4 weeks since I have had a shot. I spent our week at the beach climbing, swimming, cooking, washing, and hugging. The pain is not gone but on a scale of 1 to 10 it stayed around a 2 all week. Usually it would be an 8 or 9 by now. I have thanked Him all week. There was one day in the middle of the week where I woke up with that familiar dull ache in my shoulder. Usually that meant by the end of the day, the pain would be almost unbearable. My son was the only one with me on this day. I didn't want to tell him because I didn't want him to be discouraged. We decided to get up really early that morning and watch the sun come up over the ocean. As we sat there my shoulder began to ache even more than when I first got up. My first thought was to question God. Instead of doing that I looked at my son and said, "You know, my shoulder is aching this morning. Will you pray for me?" Without hesitation, he placed his hand on my shoulder and prayed. Then we sat there and watched the sun come up. A few hours later, he asked me about my shoulder. I had not even been aware that the pain was completely gone. And never did come back. That had never happened before. I sit here tonight writing this blog still in awe of how minimal the pain in my body is.
I have no other explanation for this other than the fact that God heard our prayers.
I don't know the reasons why sometimes it is "no", sometimes it is "yes", and sometimes it is "wait". I don't have to know the reasons. I am content now to just know that He is God.
I want to thank you for being with me on my journey. I have had so many wonderful messages, notes, cards, etc from you and I can't thank you enough for that. You are helping me more than you could ever know. For the ones of you who are silently reading and struggling to believe, I ask that you stay with me. I was you one time not long ago. My hope was fading. The logical side of my brain was far overpowering the faith side. There is truth here. It really is beautiful. Stay with me........
Back to the beach. I decided to pray. I told God that I needed to be able to move and function while I was at the beach with my family. I told Him that I didn't want to not be able to play with and hold my grandchildren. I told Him that I needed my knees to be able to climb stairs and that I needed my hands to cook and wash my own hair. I told Him that I really needed for Him to come through for me this time. I asked Him with all sincerity...."please come through for me this time." Somehow my prayer felt different than before. Way down deep inside of me, I believed that He was listening.
We are home from the beach now. It has been 4 weeks since I have had a shot. I spent our week at the beach climbing, swimming, cooking, washing, and hugging. The pain is not gone but on a scale of 1 to 10 it stayed around a 2 all week. Usually it would be an 8 or 9 by now. I have thanked Him all week. There was one day in the middle of the week where I woke up with that familiar dull ache in my shoulder. Usually that meant by the end of the day, the pain would be almost unbearable. My son was the only one with me on this day. I didn't want to tell him because I didn't want him to be discouraged. We decided to get up really early that morning and watch the sun come up over the ocean. As we sat there my shoulder began to ache even more than when I first got up. My first thought was to question God. Instead of doing that I looked at my son and said, "You know, my shoulder is aching this morning. Will you pray for me?" Without hesitation, he placed his hand on my shoulder and prayed. Then we sat there and watched the sun come up. A few hours later, he asked me about my shoulder. I had not even been aware that the pain was completely gone. And never did come back. That had never happened before. I sit here tonight writing this blog still in awe of how minimal the pain in my body is.
I have no other explanation for this other than the fact that God heard our prayers.
I don't know the reasons why sometimes it is "no", sometimes it is "yes", and sometimes it is "wait". I don't have to know the reasons. I am content now to just know that He is God.
I want to thank you for being with me on my journey. I have had so many wonderful messages, notes, cards, etc from you and I can't thank you enough for that. You are helping me more than you could ever know. For the ones of you who are silently reading and struggling to believe, I ask that you stay with me. I was you one time not long ago. My hope was fading. The logical side of my brain was far overpowering the faith side. There is truth here. It really is beautiful. Stay with me........
AHHHH, Mrs. Braddy! This has touched me so much. Sometimes God put us in a position where we have no other choice but to completely rely on Him. I'm expecting to hear and see great and wonderful things in the near future! I'm believing God for and with you like never before and keeping the prayers going forth. Love ya much!
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