Walk This Road With Me, Will You? Chap.7

My shoulder started hurting the other day. Bad. 8 on the pain scale.  It had been 2 months since I had taken a shot for rheumatoid arthritis and this was the first real pain that I had had. Like in previous times it started with that deep, sickening ache and got worse as the day went on. By night I couldn't lift it. I prayed off and on all day. When I laid down and tried to sleep, the pain was all I could think about. I tried to ignore it. I tried to think of something else but my mind started going to thoughts like, "What am I going to do? I can't take the shots and ibuprofen doesn't even touch this pain. I could get the doctor to put me on prednisone but I can't be on that for long-term. By morning I will probably be hurting all over. I really need to be able to function. Why now?  Where is this going to end up? What in the world am I going to do?"
Then I remembered. I thought about what He had done for me at the beach. I thought about the surgery He had just brought me through and the good report of no lung cancer. I thought about the many people who had been praying for me throughout this journey. I remembered that I had asked Him for healing. I had trusted that He was going to come through for me on this. I started thinking about His promises on healing which are absolutely clear in His Word. I know because I have read them over and over. I have discussed healing with others and have gotten different opinions on what healing actually looks like. Should we pray for specific healing or should we just pray for God's will? The Bible indicates we should expect healing when we ask, that it is His will for us to be healed. I have questioned why many pray (and are prayed for) for healing and don't seem to receive it.  In fact I don't know many who have been miraculously healed, but I know a lot who have not. My son reminds me that I do not need to focus on these situations and outside circumstances more than I focus on the promises of God. I get that. That makes sense to me.
So as I laid there with my shoulder throbbing, instead of asking Him again for what I had already asked for, I started thanking Him. I thanked Him for healing me. I thanked Him over and over and it was not just words, I thought about all that He had brought me through and I sincerely thanked Him from the depths of my soul. I was able to go to sleep and when I woke up the next morning my shoulder was still aching. It ached all day. I thanked Him all day. And I came to a realization that day. I don't believe that pain and sickness are from God, but I do believe that He uses these things to increase our faith. To wake us up. The thought came to me that if God had completely taken away my pain, I would certainly not be depending on Him so much now. I realized that I was asking Him to heal my body yet I was giving no thought to the unhealthy foods that I was putting into my body nor the healthy foods that I was not feeding myself. I had wanted Him to do all the work but I realized that I bore some responsibility in this also. I believe without a doubt that He showed me this on that day.
That afternoon the pain left me. That was 4 days ago and my pain level is back down to a 2.
I don't know what's going to happen with this. I'm not bold enough to emphatically declare that I am healed!  I want to do that but honestly I don't yet know how. What I do know is that He is with me. He is speaking to me. I know what He promises me. And that promise is that ALL things work together for my good. And His glory. I choose to believe that I am healed. He's still teaching me. I'm still learning. I don't think that part will ever end until I actually see Him face to face. And on that day I will be able to thank Him in person......with a pain level of zero. :)

I want you to understand how incredibly amazing it is that I can talk to you the way that I have above. It didn't used to be me. I was somewhat of a doubter all of my life. Something happened to me the first part of July of this year. I was awakened spiritually. It came before this recent physical episode I just dealt with. It is this experience that I have been waiting to tell you about. I don't want to lose you. Stay with me. You will hear some of my son's story. I have his permission to include it. Keep walking with me. I still have so much to tell you......